so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
The air taste purple.
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