im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
