He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
areolas are like halos for boobs.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
