HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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