How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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