I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
