Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
