im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
you never un-have a 4some
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
