Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
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we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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