Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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