glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
The beer is more important than you right now.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
