other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
