I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
