Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
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The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
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All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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