oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
