i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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