now i know why i became what i already was.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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