i was born a porn star she said
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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