i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
