Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
