I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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