His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
