and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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