I'm laying in your front yard are you home
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
