Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Randomize
Follow @tfln