So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
she peed on how many people?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it