We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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