I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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