I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize