my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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