As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
