halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
