I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
