just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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