Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
