Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
