You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
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Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
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The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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