I think my fart just growled at me.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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