I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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