Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
