I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
