Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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