Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
