hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
