ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
