How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
