some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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