I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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