I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
