got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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