That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
