David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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