I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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