I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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