I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
