I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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