SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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