i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
