we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
