cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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