Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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