i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
