Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
