your room smells of hookers.
And success
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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