some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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